Ballsacks Glowing on a Rainbow.

Hey there people. I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while; tumblr sort of...kidnapped me.

So, here's some news:
• Brandon came home this weekend.
• We met a lot of new family members.
• Saw Jackass 3D
• Got my back scratched

And a lot more things that I cannot recall. It was sooo nice having Brandon home. I hadn't seen him in two months (which is a hike for us). Thankfully, we're getting married in December :D  So no more being alone!! I cannot wait until I start my life with this boy; he truly is an amazing person, and I am blessed to have him.

So I watched the Rocky Horror Glee Show tonight aaaaand I loved it. But I love all things musical. Mr. Shue is one hot piece of ass and is definitely a TILF. I just....gah. I can't handle the Shuester. Just om nom nom.
nom
nom
nommmmm

Rain, Rain, Go Away

It'a raining, it's pouring
The old man is snoring
He went to bed & bumped his head
And couldn't get up in the morning



I'm sorry for my lack of posts everyone. I've moved to tumblr, but I'll try to keep this alive.What's new, what's new... I'm rather obsessed with The Princess & the Frog after watching it the other day. It's such an amazingly cute movie :3
On our 8 month anniversary, B and I decided to go to Longwood Gardens. It was absolutely positively lovely. I haven't been there in years. It was so nice to go again, on such a lovely day. I definitely want to have a garden when I get my own home, with a lovely fountain and a little place for hummingbirds. (:
God. This is like ripping out teeth. When I have something to write about, I will.

Ol' MacDonald had a Zoo

Ee eye ee eye zoo ^_^  The absolute sweetest boy in the whole wide word finally came home this weekend! The last time I saw him was one horrible month ago, so we decided to go to the Philadelphia Zoo. We went to the Baltimore Aquarium for our first date, so why not try the Zoo this time? It was a lovely 82 degrees, partly cloudy, with a lovely breeze. I think the first animal we saw was... the kangaroos? NO, wait, it was the Rare Animal Exhibit :D  There were so many little adorable thingers; the first was a fruit bat and then it was just a lot  more little primate-type creatures. This little guy to the left was taking a poop in the first picture, and then he did this. I felt so bad for him... Poor little monkey thing... He either didn't want to be there, or he was afraid of all the people.. Or both. It made me want to set him free. And I wonder if some animals really enjoy the zoo, like our pets enjoy life. They never have to worry about rival animals trying to take over their territory, running out of food or water, and they'll always be taken care of when they're sick. A lot of their exhibits aren't even caged... The only cages I remember seeing is for the birds, or outside exhibits for monkeys. The rest had really deep mote-like things so the animals couldn't jump or anything. They seemed like really nice exhibits.. Oh well. I wanted to buy something that would help with animals, but I didn't know if all the money went to a donation and I didn't see any signs, so I bought a magnet. Sorry animals... The Zoo should make it a lot  easier to donate moneys.

Insurgency

Sorry about the lack of posts! (Not like anyone follows anywayy..) So I'm thinking about changing the blog's name. I'm starting a new part of my life, and I think the blog needs to reflect that. I only have one more year as a teen, and, the way this is going, I'm going to have a life as a Navy Wife. Well... hmm.. part of my life will be as a Navy Wife. B isn't going career (yet), so the next 4 years will be spent as a Navy "Significant-Other"; who knows if any of those years will be as a wife? I think it's too soon to say that yet. Then again, a lot of military couples marry young.. And it's already been eight months. Wow. Can you believe it? Eight months already. I still can't believe it. It seems like December was only a few weeks away. There is only one thing I would change about our relationship: I wish I would have had a job sooner. The military thing doesn't bother me; it's the fact that I can't visit him as often that kills. Meh.
 He's coming home this weekend, so I'm really excited to see him. We will be going to the zoo on Saturday :D I can't wait to get my face painted!! I think I'm getting the mask from The Incredibles painted on :3
Okay, okay... things that have happened lately... Lots of True Blood & Degrassi !! I know, weird combination, huh? I love the vampires & weres of TB and I love all the stupid drama of Degrassi. Though they differ in so many different ways, but I fall in love with the characters! I'm a hopeless romantic, so I crave the cute awkwardness of the Degrassi couples, but I love love love vampires & whatnot so I'm drawn to True Blood.
okay this is getting painful. i'll write tomorrow.

Hai Everybotty!

Hai Doctor Nick! >:3   So yeah it's been a while, I'm sorry! Honestly, I've had a lot on my mind, with little time to sit down ehre & type it all out. Let's just start off with a lovely: holy shit it's hot out. Yeah. I have a new car (Chevy Chobalt ftwww) that comes with a little green temperature thingy. It's gotten up to 101. Guh. Can we, possibly, chill with this crazy weather right now? Let's have a nice summer storm[:

Hmm, what's happened lately... Well, I got a tattoo! Oh I never told you about the Fourth of July weekend extravaganzah! B gets home around 12 Thursday night, we fall asleep aaand leave for the beach at 11 on Friday. His little car has absolutely no air conditioning, just so you can all appreciate my pain. Also, no radio. So we drive for a good four hours, in and out of traffic, before finally making it to the beach. While driving down, we passed a tattoo place & B got this goofy grin and said, "Do you wanna get tattoos this weekend?!" and gave me this "omigodomigodomigod" smile. Normally, I'd have been all, "Guh we don't have the moneyz", but you should have seen the look that boy gave me. You couldn't say no to it! (Well, I couldn't..) There was one problem though; he had no idea what he wanted. I said I'd get one too, but only if he knew what he wanted. I thought he was going to start dancing right there, he was so excited. But that wouldn't happen until the next day so, moving onnn...
We only stayed at the beach for poshibly two hours, but B got a parking violation because we were parked in one spot for too long. I did not get it that water, for starters. I was thinking about it, but once B jumped in and I spotted a lovely jellyfish, I was life "Fuck that shit." I love the ocean and everything, but not when things that can kill me are swimming around in it. So, after that, we got some 5 Guys and headed to our beach house thing.

Okay, Saturdayy. I had to hound this boy of mine to call the freaking tattoo place to make sure we could go. He decided to get his last name down his side, and I decided to get a picture I found a la the internet. It's two birds flying together, and it was kind of inspired by the quote, "Without love, we are but birds with broken wings."  Okay, it was probably the most painful experience everrrr. On a scale from 1-10, it was a solid 7.5, and the hip bone a 9. The guy who did the tattoo had to be about 4 foot even, and he wasn't much of a talker, but I was completely fine with that. I was making faces, but not for the camera; B's little brother was taking pictures of us and I'm smiling in my picture while B cringing away. Poor skinny thing ahahaha. I'm sorry for laughing at his pain >.< Well all, I don't have much to write about other than that. I went shopping with Mommacita today, bought some new clothes and hopefully I'll be getting a job soon! I love you all! :D

Amber Waves of Grain

Pearl Harbor is on TV right now. The more I watch it, the sadder I get. Not only because of the people who died that day, but because we, as a country, have lost touch with what it really means to be an American. Do you know what day Pearl Harbor happened? Do you know how many people died? Do you know what Nagasaki and Hiroshima mean to the United States? If you don't know any of these, you've proven my point. December 7, 1941 is the day that was supposed to live in infamy. Instead, Americans have forgotten about the 2,008 Navymen, 109 USMC, 218 Army and 68 civilians who died that day. I always wished somebody in my family had been in WWII, so I could listen to their stories, so I could really appreciate them. Instead , I've started dating a serviceman. Honestly, had we lived back in that time, B could have been one of those 2008. Think about that day, and try to imagine it.

Your day is just starting out, at around 7 AM. You're doing your duty, either in the ship or on it, cleaning or whatever. An hour from now, you may not be alive. If you are alive, most of your friends are probably dead. Take a minute to imagine being stuck in the hull of a sinking battleship, only a few weeks before Christmas. Your fingers can just barely grasp the world outside of the ship, you can feel the tickle of wind on the tips of your fingers... And yet here is your grave. Those stuck after the attack, when help is on it's way, just a few minutes short? Your friend is on the other side, your hand is peeking through the hull of the ship where they're digging for you, and you run out of air. The next day, the day after the attack, people were trapped within the Arizona. They were able to hear tapping within the ship. Your loved ones could have been stuck 40-something feet under water, drowning, suffering, in pain and crying out for help.

Can you appreciate the people in the hospitals, trying to save one of the 1000 people wounded. So many rushing in, burnt down to the last layer of their skin, limbs barely hanging on, shot through one side and out the other. The missiles from the planes blowing everyone it hit to pieces, never knowing what hit them or what happened. I know we're a very uninterested society, and we don't give a shit about others, but these people were serving our country. If they had not died, we would have never become involved in WWII. Imagine looking at a flag-covered box, where your loved one will lie for the last time.

Maybe I'm sensitive because of B, but I don't think that's true. It's the thought of people, human beings, people who could have been our neighbors or strangers walking down the street. A brother, cousin, or family friend. People you loved and people you hated. Whoever they were, they were people. Right now, we have a stupid, senseless war going on, killling more Americans than ever before. Do we care? The few who this has affected do. This war has been going on since I was in fourth grade. I just graduated high school. What have we accomplished since then? Osama Bin Laden hasn't been found; he's been forgotten just like 9/11. We focused all of our attention on Iraq instead of worrying about the real issue and finding the man responsible for this.

I want your opinions on this. Do you remember the wars? Do you have a moment of silence for those killed during 9/11, Pearl Harbor and any other important event in our nation's history? Do you think we as a society don't give a shit about anyone but themselves & their own?

Ol' MacDonald Had a Farm...

Ee Eye Ee Eye Oh! [:  Waking up at around 10, I didn't think my day would amount to much. That's usually how summers without a car or job goes... Anyway, one of my friends decided to call me up & see if I would like to accompany them to get their naval pierced. I agreed, and off we went! Now, I already have my bellay pierced, but I figured I could go take some pictures since I never saw it done before. It really didn't look too bad. When I got it done, it felt like a really big  kid pinching and twisting the area, and it stung for a bit. The second time I had it done (had to get it re-pierced thanks to the ass-hole who decided to drink beer & then drive around) it hurt, enough to make me curl my toes, but I didn't tear up or anything. It's not a lovely sight though, lemme tell you that. It's kind of grotee, and a little weird looking, and it is not for the faint of heart. The piercer told us that men are the ones who usually faint. Teh fuck guys? You're supposed to be big and bad and you can't even handle a little belly button ring? Pshhh. Pussayyy! ;D I did buy a belly ring for myself; three actually! One is marble ish (the one I put in), another is pinkish & the other is a pink gem deal.After the piercing, we went back home & watched a little movie called  One Hour Photo I think. Robin Williams is the star and he plays some pyscho-obsessed photo man. I dunno. It was pretty fucking weird. Then we watched Disaster Date for a whle, as I played Pokemon & tried to defeat the stupid fucking Kimono Girls. What stupid bitches, am I right? I can't use a god damn thing on them! The first two, Espeon and something else completely fuck my pokemon's asshole. I can handle the others (Jolteon is who I'm stuck on now) but I just cannot win. I must level my manz up! B is kicking my ass in the game; he's had it for a fucking week & is as far on it as I am. Tehfuck!? I should be proud for him but mehhh :p B was in a volleyball tournament thing today for somebody leaving? I dunno, but he was pwning major ass. That cute sailor o mine n_n He makes me so happy. And very proud. While his friends are being cocks and trying to hump every slut ass that walks around, my man is scoffing at those girls and thinking, "My chick bad, my chick hood, my chick do stuff that yo chick wish she could!"  Naww I joke, I joke [:  But he is good with not checking the other girls out. At least, that's what he tells me. Maybe I'm stupid in believing him, but I hope not. I really hope he's true in what he says, that he does love me as much as he says, and that he isn't like his friends. (No offense to any reading this >.> except Purcell, you're a dick.  )  Anyway, B's little friend from bootcamp is finally with him in school! It's so cute, isn't it? [: Oh I keep forgetting the story. So after the movie & some dinner, we went for ice cream where a rather rude little bitch

 took my oroder in a very "Ugh hi" manner. If you can't be nice to everyone, don't work with people honey. [:  But I did get some premium ice cream as well as some lovely pictures oooofff.... baby animals! Well I got pictures of adult animals too.. >.> The cutest animals are at this place, and the baby cows always try to lick my hands. Meh. Cow tongues are gross and black and slimy (haaa that's what she said!). The goats always fight, and the big horse always kicks the small horses' ass. I hate that fucking horse. He's a dick. He wants everything for himself, nothing for the other horses. You know in Black Beauty how the horses get along so well and they frolick together? Not these assholes. They all fight with each other.

After the horse fights, we went back home, I read a little book & now here I am, relaxing at home watching Gladiator while PapaBear sleeps ahaha. We're waiting for MamaCita to get home. Then they'll go to bed, I'll eat some Coco Puffs & I'll be doing nothing tomorrow. Adios everyone!

Joy of Joys, Dream of Dreams!

Today started out like any other day. I ordered my new phone last night, the samsung reality. It replaced my horrible Blackberry, the worst phone in the freaking world. I suppose, in all honesty, it isn't that bad of a phone. No, wait, it is. It's really a mini computer that can call people. It is the biggest piece of shit ever. No signature, no good camera, nothing.
Surprise for me, my new phone came today! My memory card for my old phone doesn't fit, but that's fine. I have a pretty good camera, signatures,everything a normal camera has. I absolutely love it. [:  It's fun to take pictures with too. It's all kinds of reflecty and whatnot.

As you can see from the picture, I've stopped wearing make up. It's probably because I don't go anywhere, but I kind of like it. It's a liberating feeling. I'm starting to like myself the way I am, hair fucked up, no make up on and about 115 lbs. Yeah, I've fluctuated between hating my body and loving it, but right now, I really like it. I still want to maybe get myself more toned, not so flabby, but I'm not as flabby as a lot of people so yay for me n_n  I think I'm going to start walking tomorrow, as well as jump roping for, like, an hour (total), and lifting weights. No more junk food for me for a while! Well... that's a lie. I'm going to the beach soon with B & we'll probably stuff ourselves full of shit food. But I will try to keep it to a minimum [:

I'm so close to the Elite Four in Pokemon SoulSilver. It's so super awesome. Unfortunately, my pokemanz aren't up to level yet. ;-;  It's a tragedy...

ALSO I think I'm going to dye my hair lighter. I'm thinking along the lines of Marilyn Monroe or Meryl Streep from Death Becomes Her. Maybe too blonde? I have no idea. My biggest fear is always my eyebrows. They're brown, but when I look at Marilyn and Meryl, they both have dark eyebrows. Well, not Meryl so much... But, that's beside the point. And I'm not sure if I like being tan either... I really don't know. I'd also love to have my hair longer, but that's just time right there. It definitely got a lot longer in the past few months [: Which means that a few months from now, it will be even longer! I'm starting to be able to use little wavy products on my hair. Like that Toussle Me Softly stuff. It really works n_n  As long as your hair is long enough. Growing up nowadays puts a toll on us teenagers. Maybe I'm just weak, but people's opinions used to matter a lot to me. And now? All I care about is if B thinks I'm beautiful. I sent him a picture of me today, no make up on, hair a damn wreck, and he still thought I was gorgeous. I don't know how but he did. My folks worry that maybe he'll turn out the other guys, but I really hope he doesn't. I think he's sincere in what he does & says, and I don't think he'll hurt me on purpose. The things he says to me just make me giggle, to make me smile when I feel like the absolute worst person in the world, wha he does just to make sure I smile once a day...

Yeah, he's amazing. [:    Well folks, that's all for now. I applied at a bank today, so pray that I get this job!

 

Signed, Anonymous.

Oh sleeping in, you are my best friend :3 I haven't slept in since the beginning of school; thank the good lord above for summer! Unfortunately, since I don't have a car, these days are pretty wasted. I scrounge for a job, & as much as I try to find one, since I don't have a car... It's like one of those stupid commercials about not having any skills and not going to school and not having a job. >.> Bah...

So, since I had nothing to do today, I scoured the web for random shit! :D Mainly just the same websites, over & over. I found this thing, an internet whore, called Boxxy? She's this cute girl with a kind of annoying voice who talks wayyy too fast. Apparently the 4chan people love this girl! They call her the Queen, and because of this creepy fandom, she's gone into hiding. Aww. Random tidbit of info for ya ^^

It's people like her, though, that make me feel like slapping somebody. She's overly cute, wears a ton of make up & reminds me of so many kids in my school. I dunno, Maybe it's because I've always wanted to be myself and be accepted at the same time. Well, it never happened. Not towards my schoolmates, at least. I can be myself with B and he loves it :3 

More of my day was spent with my pokemans. I luvs dem [:  I finally caught a Cubone! Did you know a Cubone is just a baby Kankasghan that lost its mother?! I didn't! D:  Why do the Japanese think of these things?! It just made me wanna cry.. Poor wittle Pokeman... I've been practicing my MarioKart too; game is ridiculous! It's not so hard alone, but when you have somebody to play against... Guh.

Oh! I forgot! I have an Anon stalker/ friend! Hi Greg Gregson! [:   Apparently I know him, but he won't say how... Oh well. Hopefully he isn't a super creep, but he says he isn't soooo.. n_n

For the 4th of July, B & I are going to the beach! n_n I have no idea what beach it is, nor do I know where we'll be staying, but oh well! I am vurry vury excited :D I'll be posting pictures more so get ready for pictures of le beach, of le possible job, & of summer in general!

I'll write tomorrow <3

It Can't Rain All the Time

Hmm. I've been trying to move out lately, and not having a job is really killing me. I may take a babysitting job, but I have no idea yet. It all depends on the amount of money really... The biggest thing on my mind today isn't about jobs or anything, it's about people. A few months ago, I was in a car accident. A pretty bad one. (Not my fault though). I can't go into detail 'cause there's going to be a trial about it, but ever since the accident, I have been so paranoid about getting back on the road. My Christmas/ Birthday-Present Car was totalled, so I haven't driven since February, and I'm afraid to even think about the future. What if I had a child & they had been in the car too? The idea always scares me and makes me cringe for the future. I love driving, don't get me wrong; it's the people on the road that I'm afraid of...

Yeah, short, I know. I'll write more tomorrow[:

I'm leaving on a Jet Pl-Train....

Well folks, I'm a graduate[:  have been for about a week now. I mean, it isn't as glorious and fabulous as I'd have hoped, but what else could I expect? I didn't go to Senior Week; why would I want to spend a whole week with the children I spent 4 years of High School with? There's a reason I'm glad to be out of that school. Instead, I'm here in Connecticut with B for the weekend. We're staying at a hotel, just us, having a nice weekend to ourselves.

Let's start on Friday; I took a 5 hour train ride to get here (UGH). It had to have been at least 50 degrees on that effing train. Who the fuck runs the temperature on that bitch? Whoever it is, here's a note: turn the fucking thing UP. I swear I could almost see my breath. The ride itself wasn't so bad; I was reading a book the whole time &, since it was in the morning, there were no weirdos on it. Unfortunately, when I go back home tomorrow night, I'm anticipating some freaks.
So after the train ride, B & I get some food & call a taxi to take us to the hotel. (We don't have a car...) We settle in & decide we need food, so we call another taxi & they drive us up to the Stop & Shop. Since it was only about a mile away & we didn't want to spend the $5 on the cab, we decided to walk. NEVER WALK ANYWHERE IN FLIP FLOPS. My fucking feet are dead. I have huge blisters on the balls of my feet & every time I walk they scream at me. Not to mention that the bathroom doors here are so close to the fucking toilet that when I tried opening the door after peeing, the door decided to have some pinkie-toe-skin for dinner. That fucking hurt. So my feet? They hate me. I've been walking around in these white, fuzzy Candie slippers &, even though they look like something even a princess wouldn't wear, they are so fucking comfy. I'll be wearing these bitches on the train.

Today (Saturday), B & I decide to go to the mall to look at promise rings & whatnot. When we get there, we don't see anything we like. I'm wearing moccasins, 'cause I only brought flip flops & those, and we walk around for a good 2 hours & blow all our money. Yup. Thank god for amazing boyfriends though; our last purchase? A good pair of Pumas & some socks[:  I mean, if my pinkie-toe still existed, the shoes wouldn't hurt at all lol. I bought B a Nintendo DSI since he's been wanting one for a while & he was really surprise by that. I figured hey, fuck it, this isn't the dress rehearsal. We also bought Treasure Planet & The Sword in the Stone and watched those today. OH, and we layed by the pool too. It was weird; the only people allowed in were military people & their families. It was like looking into my future, somewhat... All of the families were so...old. Every man there had to be 30+ and had kids from infants to teens going into high school. I guess it's because they were traveling throughout the years that either they didn't settle down before or they weren't home to make babies. I won't have that problem; B is going for his 5 years & then probably only staying as a recruiter. Don't get me wrong, it's great to be with a serviceman, but I want a family within the next 10 years. Yeah yeah, I'm young & blah blah blah, but if you were me & had somebody who was this in love with you & who you were this in love with, you'd understand. Not to mention, we're flat fucking broke. If we were married, we'd be able to live on base as well as get more mula for it.


Right now B is fighting with his new Pokemon HeartGold & I'm about to clean this place up a little so we can sleep in tomorrow. (He's very angry with his game...) For some reason my left arm is killing me, so I'm hoping it will be better for tomorrow. No reason other than it hurts like a mother fucker hahaha. Hopefully I'll be getting a car sometime this week & B is coming down in about 2 weeks for the 4th of July, where I'll be going to the beach with him & his family. I really do love them all. I'm about to go sit on his lap, snuggle up to him & lead him to bed so he can relax while I clean. Ya know, I like being a "mom" of the house. It's not so bad. Well, it isn't now. I don't have any bills to pay or anything right now, but the cleaning & all doesn't bother me. My family tries to call me a dirt bag cause my room can get kind of messy, but that's all. I mean, okay, I don't do chores around the house, but honestly? The only reason is because I never know what needs to be done. If they ask me to do it, I always do. I don't keep track of what they do, so how will I know what needs to be done? I'm not psychic.


Well people, I'm off to tidy up. Please follow me, whore me out to your friends & I'll do the same. Much love[:

Birds with Broken Wings

Tres Dias!! ^_^ It's really coming down to the last few days amigos! Ahh, I cannot wait to be out of this school. I mean, the school isn't too bad; it's the people who are really annoying. Freshmen who try to be gangster, juniors who come to school drunk, just a whole lot of small-town people. Honestly, I used to go to day care with a younger girl and now all she does is curse and smoke pot and thinks she's cool. All these town people want out of life is drama. Can't we all just stop worrying about what other people are doing? No, I suppose not.

So I've been reading this book about zombies and... uh... yeah. They're scary. They're probably my biggest fear, other than the end of the world. Yeah yeah shut up. I'm sorry, I can't help it! I'm always afraid of everything "/ From some sneezing old man to a coughing baby. I just can't deal with sheeet.

Hmm. There really isn't much to talk about tonight. It's just a very lazy Tuesday at home, the family watching Wheel of Fortune with the windows open to let the nice summer air in. I'll update this tomorrow everyone[:

Happy Endings;;

Hola folks! I never thought I'd be here, typing on my new laptop, getting ready to take the very last finals I'll ever take in high school. That's right everyone; I am graduating! Class of 2010 here we go! I cannot wait to get out of this tiny ass town with all of these tiny people. All anyone does around here is complain about everyone else or worry about other peoples' business. I guess that's what you get for living around here. There's cow tipping, pot smoking, lots of sex and gossip. It's kind of like Gossip Girl without all the glamour.

So, since I've been rather, uhm, late in writing, let me tell you how yesterday was: SHIT. I bought a wireless router for my new laptop since we don't have wifi at my house, and when I tried to hook it up, it just would not work. I tried for at least four hours to try to get that stupid effing thing to work and I finally gave up after my dad & my uncle (who works for a computer company) couldn't figure it out. I take it back & get a different one and, wala! It works in about 5 minutes. -_-' But today has been oddly perfect: I don't have money for breakfast at school & I find out we're having a party for my one class; we get to watch the most amazing movie in my next class ( Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs!); my friend gave me an anchor SillyBand; my router works &  B got an 84% on his one quiz for school so he can come home whenever he wants now! Goodness you guys[: OH! And, since I'm trying to move out there with B, I've been looking into taking online courses for college AND there is about a 75% chance of me going[: [: [: i am so effing PUMPED! :D
So guys, this is it. I'm growing up. No more chores; now they're called "responsibilities". I'm gonna try to move in with B & that is going to completely fuck us. Our wallets are going to be crying every single night "/ I'm going to get a full time and, with B's paycheck, we're going to be barely scraping by but hopefully we'll make it. Not to mention I plan on getting my Associate Degree in Business within 15 months[:  That will help us so much.

Well, that's all folks. I'll probably be back more often, now that I have my ownnn laptop<3

Modern Day Witches.

You know, I've been reading a lot of Mitch Albom's books lately, and they've been putting me in such a good mood.
And then it gets ruined by one person. Now, to each his own and everything, but how can anyone agree with anything Africa does religiously? Africa, notorious for AIDS, is probably one of the most tragic places to raise a child. If that child is gay, they can be killed. If that child is an albino, they will be killed and eaten (because it cures AIDS), and if somebody in the family happens to die, that child can be blamed and called a witch. I just watched a documentary about Africa's "Witch Children" and I cried. It absolutely breaks my heart to watch children get tortured for anything, from bankruptcy to a death in the family. I watched a 5 year old girl wander miles from her home because her family disowned her. I watched a younger girl scream and cry because a man was threatening to slaughter her with a machete later that night. I watched a baby, younger than 2, get abandoned because some "Prophetess" told her mother she was a witch.

The fact that Christians actually believe that putting people in jail for how they feel is right is just... horrible. "Oh, you have blonde hair? Death sentence!" What the fuck people. Can't you just accept others? I wish there was a way I could help all those childrens; in fact, I would love to adopt all those poor little innocent children, but I can't. I also can't travel to Africa to help them because, well, I don't have those means.

The best I can do, right now, is let people know the Hell that is here, right on Earth, and to try to stop this from spreading from Africa. The next thing we'll be doing is drinking the blood of babies because that cures arthritis.

End The Suffering

Allow me to paint you all a picture:
Your grandmother has been diagnosed with Altzheimers. This disease will destroy her; she will forget everything, from her closest family members to how to eat. A few months after she was diagnosed, you go over to her house and see her outside in her garden. Almost immediately, she stands up and looks around, scared and worried. You realize she has forgotten where she is in only the few minutes of her being outside. It won't take very long for her to forget everything. She will lay in a cold hospital bed, surrounded by people she doesn't know, gasping for air and not knowing who these people telling her they love her are. But, in a moment where she's still herself, she tells you that there is a doctor who will help her pass peacefully. He will put her into a deep, un-conscious sleep and will then give her a drug that will stop her heart.
Do you let her suffer, or grant her last wish?

Dr. Jack Kevorkian helped over 100 terminally ill, suffering people end their lives and was convicted of murder. These people went to him, asked and begged him to help end their suffering, and he did. He conducted interviews with these patients, asking them what they wanted, never once suggesting he euthanise them. To think that this man, who only ever wanted to help people, was sent to prison for eight years.

In my opinion, to keep somebody alive who is in pain is considered torture. To keep somebody in a state of suffering, in a state of pain, in a state of unwanted physical discomfort is considered torture. Murder is an act of killing a person with a malicious intent, against this person's will. Euthanasia is ending a person's suffering. We take our pets to the vet when they are suffering to put them to sleep; why would we keep a human being, who knows what is going on, from ending their lives gracefully?

Honestly, after watching You Don't Know Jack, I've never felt so horrible before. To watch the videos of people saying, "Please, please just end my life," brought tears to my eyes. This may not be a very fun or very bubbly post, so I apologize.

To those who think this is considered playing God: wouldn't taking any kind of medicine be considered playing God? Isn't chemotherapy playing God? Isn't going to a doctor to give birth "playing God"? We prolong lives that aren't meant to be prolonged, but we can't end the lives of those who are suffering? You'd rather torture a person than to give them that final request? I pity your family members.

If ever I am diagnosed with any terminal illness, ever in such excrutiating pain as these people, I will end my life, with my family by my side. I only hope that one doctor will give me that last dream, that last wish, that last escape.

Hate Crime or Religion.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Oh my freaking goodness. I am so sick and tired of hearing all of this religious bull-crap promoting hate! You know what? Fuck you. If you have a problem with people, stop hiding behind your Bible and just say it: you're prejudice. Be it racism, homophobia, whatever, people use the Bible as an excuse to hate. You wanna see what happens when Religion gets out of hand?

Yeah. I went there. 9/11 was a religious thing. Just because it's written and spoken in Arabic doesn't mean that Christians are different. In fact, they aren't. Do I have to put a picture of the Westboro Baptist Church up here?

Well I did anyway. Yeah. That pretty much says it all. The Bible says a lot of things, and a lot of people take it as "Oh, so this is how I need to live." NO! These aren't RULES, they're guidelines. If somebody is listening to a certain kind of music, and you think the Bible says you shouldn't listen to it, then just don't listen to it. Don't you dare try telling that person that what they are doing is wrong. No. It isn't. James 4:11 says, "Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" See. Right there. Who are you to judge your neighbor. You are nobody. You aren't Christ, you aren't God, you're not even a disciple. You are nobody. I am so sick and tired of listening to people try and tell me what I can do and who I'm allowed to be. If I want to be gay, then so be it. If I want to listen to heavy metal, so be it. If I want to eat meat, and be angry at God and yell and scream and just be miserable, so be it. I can be whoever I want, because you will never be the judge of me. You aren't God. I'll let Him decide if I was a good person. If my only crime was loving another person.... There's something wrong with this world. If you don't stop and take a look at what you're preaching, this world is going to become involved in one giant religious battle, just like the middle east. We need to tolerate our fellow peers; use your knowledge to promote love, not hate. I understand nobody will like everybody, but we all deserve a chance at a perfect life. Every problem within the world can be traced back to religion. Racism, something still very large in the 21st century, comes from the Bible. According to the white settlers, the blacks weren't considered human and I'm sure they had their fair share of Bible quotes.

Look at the Salem Witch Trials. Look at the deaths in India betweens Muslims and Hindus. Look at World War II! Look at the war we're in right now. Everything right now is about religion, about the radical muslims, how they hate everyone who doesn't believe what they believe. They are no better than the people who judge and push hate through the Bible.

Gah.. My rant is done. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone; I'm just sick of people promoting hate through something that isn't even factual.

Sometimes I Wonder Where You Are

Ahhhh. The rightful order has been restored (:  B is finally out of bootcamp! Can I get a group woot? "WOOT!" Thanks to everyone who contributed to that woot ahahaha. Graduation Weekend was absolutely amazing. My mother & I got to Chicago sometime Thursday and spent the day sleeping lol. We were up really early for the flight, and when we finally got there we were just ridiculously tired. Not to mention we had to get up at 5AM for B's graduation!
So Friday morning rolls around, we get up, we do our thing and make it into the Navy Base at around 7:30. The ceremony doesn't begin until 9 and we don't get to physically touch him until 10:30! UGH!!! Let me just say, with the Crying Asian Baby goin' for most of the ceremony & not being able to see our man, that ceremony took for EVER! I've never wanted to jump into a crowd of people so much before. We just waited 2 months to see this boy, don't prelong the moment any more assholes.... -_-"
Then, at about 10:45, we got the all-call for Liberty Weekend and people were just running for those poor sailors. I tried following my mother by crawling over the bleachers, but my heels made that difficult; I had to hold on to B's younger brother just to keep my balance hahaha. As soon as we made it to the crowd, we lost B. I'm a short girl to begin with, and in a sea of 600+ people, we were pretty much screwed. Thank goodness for my mother, or I would have never found him; I heard her say, "Oh, there he is!", looked and saw him. I've never felt like I was going to explode glitter until that point in my life. As soon as I hugged him, I couldn't stop kissing him. Everyone else was finally finding us, trying to get their way in to hug him too. Poor thing teared up a little on us (:
The next three days were pretty much spent in the same area, close to the Gurnee Mall (which is huge), either shopping or catching movies. I can honestly say I have never felt so happy to have somebody back in my life. He means so much to me; he's more than just my boyfriend. He's my best friend, the guy I can go to about anything, the only person who can make fun of me while making me feel amazing at the same time. I don't know what I'd do without him in my life. I guess just be the way I was when he was gone for 2 months; cut off, depressed for periods of time.. just not me.
I'm sorry this is kind of short; I've been on here for hours & it's taken a toll on my brain stem.

The Ground Swallows the Caterpillar's Pleas

Hmm, hey there guys. It's been a while, hasn't it? Nothing too exciting has happened yet; I saw Kick-Ass the other day (it was very awesome) and I GET TO SEE B ON FRIDAY!! Aren't you excited?! I know I am! God, it;s been 2 months since I've seen that awesome face of his ^_^ He's supposed to be calling sometime today or tomorrow & I cannot wait. I've been getting butterflies all this week; during the school day, I just wait for the bell to ring & will the hours to go by faster.
I'm still scared about the flight, but that's just me hating airplanes. I even Googled some statistics on my chances of crashing or having a terrorist on my flight & my chances of survival seem really good. Then again, with my luck, I've just jinxed myself. I wish I had a jet pack or something... Something I could use to fly myself there. It's the thought of not being in control that scares me the most, I think. Like, if something goes wrong, I'm screwed. There's nothing I can do to save myself if the plane wants to die. I just gotta hang on & hope that, somehow, I make it.

So, since I've told you all about my fears of flying, I figured I'd let you in on some humor. While driving up to see Kick-Ass, my friend H & I were talking about various topics, as we do. Our conversation turned to guys & how some of them don't shave their junk. I told her how I absolutely refused to do anything to a guy who didn't do some manscaping, and she agreed. She said how there was a hair-limit on what she would do, considering the length of said pubes. I agreed. "See, if it's like little fuzzies or something, that's one story. But if he has some crazy bush, like a fuckin' mythological forest down there, I'm not goin' near it. I'll see a little leprechaun down there, jumpin' up and down goin', 'Ho-ho, don't eat mah pot of gold, ho ho!'" to which she looked over at me, took a second and started laughing hysterically. I didn't mean for it to be so funny, but the more we thought about it, the funnier it was. In fact, it became the joke of the night.

I wish I had more exciting news for everyone. After I finish this, I'll probably start packing. I don't think I'll be getting a phone call from B tonight. Guess that means I'll get a call tomorrow "/

I Would Wrap You in the Heavens

Bahhh. Well, my emo-fest is over for now ahaha (: I finally started getting letters from B and so far, I've even received two phone calls! It's the most exciting thing when he calls me. The first time, I saw a weird 800 number, but I answered on the small whim it may be him.
"Hello?"
"hi"
"...Hi?"
"Torie?"
"Uhh yeah..."
"Guess who."
"AHHH OMG B AHHHH"- crashing out of the living room and jumping into my room.

Yeah, I'm a total nerd haha. He was able to talk for 20 minutes that time, but the next time he called it was only for 10. I mean, I'm not complaining at all; he could talk for 3 minutes and I'd be happy just to hear him.  A lot of people don't seem to realize that I do love B. Yes, I know we've only been together for 3 months and I honesly didn't want to rush into anything with anyone after the crap I went through last year. When you spend every single hour with somebody, you can't help it when you fall in love with them. We rushed into our relationship because we knew he was leaving. I think a lot of it was because we didn't realize that we'd stay together through bootcamp. Sometimes I think maybe being together so much may screw us later in life, but I really hope not. I feel like my mother in this situation; I can tolerate my alone-time without B, while he wants to spend every second together. Before you take me wrong, let me clarify: sometimes I just want to sit in my room, listen to music & have some time to myself. This is B's first big-time relationship; not mine. I went through this last year, and with a horrible outcome. I get skeptical if we'll really be together forever, but even if we do break up, I know that I want him in my life still. He's the best person ever, and that's the only way I can describe it. A lot of our differing opinions comes with our age; he's already 20 while I'm only 18. It may not seem like such a big difference,  but it is. I still feel so young, like I shouldn't even be thinking about marriage. I expect that to change soon enough. Just because I'm being realistic about not expecting too much right now doesn't mean any girl can try to weasle their way between us. I've already dealt with two crazy girls & I'm prepared to take on a million more. Grr!

Since today is Easter, Happy Easter! I'm going over to B's folks' home to hang out, and tomorrow my folks & I are going to see Clash of the Titans! I'm so pumped, you have no idea. :D  Hmm. It's only 19 days until we see B again. (:  Yes, I am keeping track religiously.  Ha, life sucks without the boy. I told you: he's my best friend, the best boyfriend I could ever ask for & the best person I've ever met. I guess I'm just that lucky.

Hollow Hands Reach Out..

Life is starting to really be shitty lately. It's only because I lost the best friend I'd ever had all in the course of a few minutes. One second we were on the phone, and the next thing I know I can't hear him. That was the last time I've talked to him since he went into bootcamp. Goodness. I act like he's dead or something. Well, no, I guess I don't. If he was dead I'd probably move on or something, but that's not an option here. Not that I want it to be an option. Ugh. It just sucks being stuck at home every single night without any choice on the matter.


Of all the times for everything to happen when it did, why did it have to be right now? I absolutely hate it. I'll be honest with you here. I have lots of people I get along with, but when it comes down to people I hang out with, I've lost some of my closer friends. The ones I'm still close with can't drive. Since I live in the middle of nowhere, we don't have public transportation so we're all stuck at home. So this isn't just be missing my boyfriend. It's me missing out on everything an 18-year-old high school senior should be doing. I'm not going to some awesome college, I'll do community and follow B wherever he goes with the military. That may sound stupid to some of you, but it's my life & I didn't have much planned anyway. I wanted to travel a lot, but he'll probably only go for 4 years; after those four years, we can travel. Hell, if he goes career, we'll be travelling anyway ahaha.

I don't have any siblings, I don't have any family members who I actually want to hang with around here, I pretty much have nobody to fall back on. He's my best friend. He's the person I think of every night before I fall asleep and who I wish was there for me to wake up to. He's the one person who gets all my jokes, gay or not. And if they are gay, he still laughs and calls me a nerd, but it's okay because I know he laughed at me for being so excited by such a stupid thing. The way he looks at me when I'm being a goober is one of complete awe, like I'm doing something amazing. We sing Tenacious D together in the car, horribly and out of tune. Whenever I feel absolutely horrible, he's the one to hug me and call me beautiful, no matter how many times he has to do it. B is willing to do absolutely anything for me, be it making a sandwich because I'm too damn lazy or shoveling 4 feet of snow so I can go home. (Or, ya know, walking 8 miles to see me).

All I know is that April 23 can't come fast enough. I wish to God that I had my car. I'm glad to have my life in the event that happened, don't get me wrong. Right now, I'm unable to work because I have no way to get there. I had plans for when B was leaving. I was gonna work all the time & go to the gym. Now I can't. Every single thing I had planned out turned to absolute shit.

At least we won't.